Movie night and thinking about death

Yesterday we had another family movie night, I really like this tradition a lot, It’s a great way to start the weekend. It seems like we are always picking movies with dogs in them, what can I say we are animal lovers. Last week we watched Marmaduke and last night we watched Balto, my son really enjoyed both movies and so did we. There is nothing better than snuggling up together and watching a good movie. My husband and I try to go out most Saturday nights so it’s nice to all be together on Fridays. Balto was mainly a feel good movie, but it did have its sad moments.

There was one scene where the children were all sick and there was no more medicine for them. There was a man making little coffins for the children because without the medicine they were sure to die. My son asked us what they were, I quickly said boxes. My husband whispered to me to just tell my son that they were coffins. I just couldn’t.  My son is 7 and, I felt he was too young to think about coffins. Sometimes I want to shelter him from unpleasant thoughts.

I lost my mother to cancer when I was nine, she died in the hospital with my father at her side. I don’t have too many memories of her because I was so young, but I do remember her last words. She told my father to live, laugh, love and read a lot. She told him to make sure that we stayed close and to spend a lot of time together. We all knew she was dying we just didn’t know when. My parents made the decision to not let us go to the funeral. I’m glad we didn’t go because when I think of her I picture her alive, not in a coffin. So when my son asked about the coffins in the movie I guess I didn’t want to upset myself.

When I look at him I see a little boy that really needs his mother, I feel like I was much older at 7. Maybe my husband was right, why not just tell him the truth. Things ended well in the movie, the children got their medicine and Balto was a hero. My son knows that children sometimes die. Sometimes things that happen to us when we are young affect our parenting styles. My husband feels like we should tell it like it is and I agree with him for the most part. Except when it comes to talking about death. I don’t want my son to think about it too much. I just want to deal with it as it comes.

ZekeTwo years ago we lost our beloved dog Zeke and we were all very upset by this. Especially my son since Zeke was there all his life. We got through it by talking about it a lot and reading books on the subject. I know this will not be the last time we will lose a loved one and so does my son. For now I just want his thoughts to be happy ones for as long as possible. I didn’t want him to have that visual of children in a coffin. I know I was probably over analyzing the situation, but that’s what I do. That is why I have to eat raw and do yoga it keeps me balanced. My son thankfully is a lot like my husband. He generally takes things in stride and doesn’t over analyze. I need those two in my life, they help me realize that things are a big deal if you make them one.

I don’t think my feelings about death will ever change. It’s just a part of my personality. My husband can look at a coffin and just see a coffin, I can’t. Overall it was a good Friday night we laughed a lot and spent quality time together, my mother would be proud. This is one tradition that we will keep alive.

  • We recently attended a funeral for a cousin of my wifes who is slightly younger than I, and I hadn’t really thought about this subject much until the last week. I hadn’t thought about it at all in my life, I smoked, never exercised, ate whatever I wanted, and generally didn’t care. I try not to get caught up in the thought of; “did I change too late?”, but rather focus on the future, and know that I stopped my old habits, adopted a much healthier diet, and cherish the time I have with my kids. My daughter has (or had) a saying for things that just happen. She shrugs her shoulders and says (“happens happens”). I guess you cant prepare for that, but you just deal with it when it does. Thought provoking post. I may write some more about it on my blog. Thanks for the great post.

    • Your daughter has the right attitude. We can learn a lot from our children. It’s great that you are on the right track now, it’s best not to look back.

  • We recently attended a funeral for a cousin of my wifes who is slightly younger than I, and I hadn’t really thought about this subject much until the last week. I hadn’t thought about it at all in my life, I smoked, never exercised, ate whatever I wanted, and generally didn’t care. I try not to get caught up in the thought of; “did I change too late?”, but rather focus on the future, and know that I stopped my old habits, adopted a much healthier diet, and cherish the time I have with my kids. My daughter has (or had) a saying for things that just happen. She shrugs her shoulders and says (“happens happens”). I guess you cant prepare for that, but you just deal with it when it does. Thought provoking post. I may write some more about it on my blog. Thanks for the great post.

    • Your daughter has the right attitude. We can learn a lot from our children. It’s great that you are on the right track now, it’s best not to look back.